Shikoi Koika An Angeal Hewley Fanfiction
by MaybeMockingbird
Summary: A first person viewed Angeal Hewley fan-fiction; based on his life before and after SOLDIER and his relationships with the other characters. The name means "White Love Song" and it's based loosely off of "Sweet and Low" by Augustana
1. Chapter 1

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**Chapter One: Leaving Banora**

**Banora**; it's mid-summer and randomly the dumb apples started growing - the spontaneity of the things always got the better of me. There was a hazy mist of purple and white surrounding the early morning, the sun was just drifting over the trees, creating an _eerie_ feeling of someone watching me.

I remember sitting on the cliffs, overlooking the factory. I just sat there, polishing my buster sword with wonder in my eyes and an unknown tune coming from my lips. Today was something special; I was going to be inducted into SOLDIER... I couldn't believe it, all this hard work and all of the hardships I caused my parents have finally paid off. _Me, a SOLDIER...? Was I really made of the right stuff to actually be put in the same league as someone like Sephiroth_? That was my goal, to achieve that title of being "1st Class SOLDIER"

This was going to be my first day leaving Banonra and I was worried, really _really _worried. I kept wondering what I should do before I left, I only had a few hours in Banora before I had to meet Genesis and ship out. And I wondered if I should tell...

"ANGEAL!! Hello!!" -- Her. I turned my head and there she was - my childhood companion and probably the love of my life. Her long, ponyt-tailed brown hair was blowing in the wind and that horribly goofy smile was plastered on her face. I couldn't place it, probably never will, what I did find so utterly attractive about her but honestly I couldn't care. Adelaide- my sweet Adelaide, she wanted nothing more than to see me make 1st Class. And I wasn't going to let her down.

"Adelaide, could you not be so loud?" I snapped. I shook my head and crossed my arms, staring at her with a bit of immaturity.

"Oooh, touchy today, aren't we Mr. Hewley?" she replied with a laugh. I chuckled and stood up, shoved my buster into the ground and walked toward her with my hands on my hips. She leaned in toward me and wagged a finger in my face, with a smile she lectured me. "Soon enough you won't be ordering people around. I mean with Sephiroth hanging around your troop and all, you'll be so over-shadowed! Think you can handle not being in the spotlight that long?" she laughed a bit, her innocence was priceless.

"Pride can be a... horrible burden sometimes." I whispered. I remember just standing there for a moment, unable to really say anything to her - I didn't know _what_ to say honestly. She was the only one who could ever really leave me speechless.

I placed my hands in my pockets and shook my head; untamed black bangs over-shadowed my worry filled eyes. She grabbed my arm and looked at me in wonder, "Is everything alright, Angeal?" she asked. I rubbed the back of my head and turned away, I didn't know if I should tell her. "Yeah, everything is OK." I replied, leaning back with my head up toward the sun. My mind was so scattered that day, I couldn't think clearly let alone tell her I loved her. It would have to wait.

"Hey, Angeal" my head shot down toward the distant plain ahead of me. Behind the trees, shrouded in the mist was a figure of a young man. Adelaide turned, surprised by the sudden appearance of this young person. She she fell into my arms, I held her and laughed a bit - not loud enough for her to hear - but enough to bring a smile to my face.

I blinked and then sighed, "Genesis! Don't yell, it's disrespectful this early in the morning." I lectured. That was my biggest personality downfall, always being respectful and lecturing people. Ah, pride can be quite a burden sometimes, can't it?

"Bah," Genesis shook his head. "There you go again, do you honestly think that these crazy Banorans will be sleeping when two of their youngest and best looking guys are heading out to join SOLDIER!? I don't think so, c'mon we gotta go!" he flailed his arms like a mad-man, he was smiling and so optimistic. I hadn't seen him this happy in a really long time.

I laughed and nodded, a grin stretching from ear to ear was plastered on my face and I didn't think it left for a while. Adelaide grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hill, I barely had enough time to snatch my buster sword from the ground before she yanked my arm off. Genesis was running ahead of us and soon he was so far gone we lost him in the haze. My mind was so boggled though from the suspense that I could have really cared less about it, but Adelaide - competitive as _always_ - wasn't going to let Genesis reach the town entrance before us.

**Apple Orchard**; Once we reached our destination, a lot of it was a blank after in my mind - I remember being hugged and congratulated by every villager in town. Genesis kept soaking up the attention like a rag, same old goofball. We were showered with packs of odd items to help us on our trip to Midgar, and of course we were embarrassed by our parents with endless sobbing and "I'm so proud!" cheers. That went on for a good few hours. Then, everything quieted down. Genesis, Adelaide and myself were all that stood at the apple orchard entrance. And it went quiet.

"Well, go get em!" Adelaide said, hitting me hard in the arm. I laughed emotionlessly and sighed.

_I should just say it..._ I thought. I swallowed my pride and went to speak, "Adelaide, I - oomph!" she silenced me with a kiss and then she held me. I could hear Genesis breaking out into fits of laughter behind me.

"Take care of yourself, OK?" she whispered. "Both of you!"

"Adelaide, I need to -" and then Genesis interrupted me. He grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me out toward the village outskirts. Adelaide waved as we left, I wasn't ready to leave just yet but Genesis had other plans. I'd just have to tell her some other time then.

**Chapter One End**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: My Mistakes**

**Mt. Tamblin**; "Ah, Genesis, please slow down. I'm exhausted." I moaned – I swear, he was like an over-grown three year old. I could understand his joy and wanting to get to the Shinra building as soon as possible, I was eager to get started in my SOLDIER training as well, but it was late – midnight to be exact – and even though he hadn't realized it yet, we were lost. And worst of all, we were lost in a very unsettling area.

"Tch, Angeal you're _such _a drama queen! If we don't hurry, we'll _never _get to Midgar, especially if you keep delaying us with these horrible lectures." Genesis moaned, he rolled his eyes and looked back at me.

"Hush, Genesis!" There I went again, yelling at him without giving an explanation. I didn't think I'd ever learn. I went to give him an answer to my sudden outburst but he interrupted me, "Why? There's nobody around for _miles_!" Genesis screamed.

"Do you even realize where you've lead us?!" I snapped. Genesis was taken aback; he cocked his head to the side and thought for a moment, eying his surroundings. I placed my hands on my hips and let him realize what he had led us into. A trap, nothing but a horrible Wutai trap and we had no way to get out of it. We had wandered pretty deep into Wutai territory, so deep we may have dug our own graves. A good few minutes passed when he opened his mouth and stiffened up.

"Mt. Tamblin – we're in Wutai territory!" Genesis held his breath, trying not so make any sudden movements or noises. I nodded slowly and waved my hand to calm him down. We didn't need to me found right now.

Suddenly the silence – all aside from Genesis' heavy panting – was broken. THWAP! Something had been broken ahead of us, it sounded as though someone was hit - hard. Genesis panicked, he searched the area thoroughly with his eyes, and I readied my buster in case I needed to go on the offensive. I'd rather not, seeing as I'd hate to use my sword for the first time in a non-SOLDIER related fight, but sometimes wishes don't always come true.

"Angeal," Genesis was shaken. My gaze narrowed in his direction, "What?" I whispered. Both of us stiffened a bit when we heard another noise. BOOM!

"A-a gunshot," Genesis gasped, "Angeal!" he shrieked, his nervous eyes faced me. He was in a shear state of terror.

"Calm down, Genesis! Ready your-"and then I understood his fear, sitting at his side was a sheath, but no rapier. _Idiot_, I thought as I cringed my teeth, _if you hadn't let your ego get in your way before we left Banora you'd have remembered your sword_! Genesis was defenseless and in a bad state of mind at that time, I don't think I'd ever seen him turn that pale, or his eyes fill with so many tears of worry. At the time, he was a forgetful, childish person. I honestly never understood what it was that changed him so much over the years. He went from a purely innocent child to a cold, almost hating man. But at that time, the Genesis I remember so well – knees buckling, eyes full of tears and body shaking – needed me.

I waved him in my direction, he was defenseless and I had to keep him safe. Genesis sidled his way toward me, he had no choice, but his movements were jerky and loud. My fear was he was moving too fast, he was going to give himself away.

I knelt down behind a bush, the wind was blowing it toward me as though it was trying to urge me into its shadows, and kept my eyes wide open in case of a surprise attack. "Hurry, Genesis." I mumbled, grinding my teeth together. I heard the mechanics of a gun clicking, being readied to fire, to my right - directly behind Genesis.

"Genesis, get down!" I shouted, extending my hand toward him – a fatal attempt to reach him, and show him the Wutai infantry man behind him. I heard a shot, faintly, as Genesis turned hastily and tripped. And suddenly my life slowed, everything went horribly still - I don't think I took a breath. How could I? Genesis hadn't tripped – he'd been shot.

His eyes rolled back into his head and he tumbled, hard and quickly, to the muddy ground beneath him.

"**_Genesis_**!" I screamed, I drew my blade from its holster and readied and attack. I was enraged; swinging my sword around like it was a toy. I somehow, through my blind rage, managed to evade the oncoming bullets. I moved carelessly around trees and bushes, scrapping myself open on every loose object around me. I heard a heavy scream coming from the man who had shot my friend, and with one heavy slice of my buster I end our attacker's assault.

I breathed heavily, opened my eyes and saw my sword – tainted with an unnecessary kill and an unknown man lying at my feet. _What did I do_? I thought, staring at the infantry man. It was as though I had been possessed. I vaguely remembered anything that had happened. I saw the gunman lying at my feet. I kneeled at his side, praying maybe I hadn't – I had. What was I thinking?

"That was… a horrible mistake; he wasn't a _Wutai_infantry man. He was a Shinra infantry man! I killed a SOLDIER!" I gasped; I just couldn't believe what I had done. I closed my eyes, unable to comprehend the mistake I had made. I rubbed my face and sighed. _What will this mean for my future - had I just cost myself my entire life's work from a fit of rage_? I placed my buster back into its holster, my hand shaking in a sheer panic.

"A-Angeal?" My head shot up and turned toward the space where I had previously been. I had forgotten Genesis! How many more mistakes could I make!? I scrambled to my feet, I hadn't been that nervous in a long time, and hurried over to Genesis' side. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were filled with a bit of relief to see I was alright but he was in pain. He extended a hand to me, and smiled weakly, "Idiot. Don't just leave me out here." He snapped.

"Genesis, are you alright?" I completely ignored his crude remark toward me. He nodded and pointed to his leg. I sighed; at least it wasn't something that was fatal. I helped him sit up, and looked at his wounded leg. I laid a gentle hand on his knee and he recoiled in pain, face beat read from withholding a scream. I could barely mumble 'sorry' I was so nervous. I took his pack from him, eying his priceless Loveless novel inside. He'd have my head if I left it there.

"I feel funny." Genesis said quietly, "My head's spinning." I looked at him with utter worry, _this isn't good_. I thought, _he's lost too much blood_. _If I hadn't shot that infantry man, maybe he could've helped us get to Midgar quicker._ Genesis looked at me, his vision strained. I could tell he wasn't going to last much longer in this state.

I said nothing, my mind was completely boggled. Mindlessly, helped Genesis stand, letting him use me as a support beam so he could walk without stress. His body was limp, but he stayed strong - stronger than me.

"Angeal, is everything ok? Are you hurt?" Genesis asked. I avoided eye contact continuously. I couldn't face him then, my shame overshadowed my pride. I nodded and tightened my grip on Genesis' limp body, slowly working my way back toward the slain SOLDIER. I had seen a glimpse of a cavern in the mountain's side. We might have a chance to survive the night there, protected and out of the light of the moon.

"Angeal!" Genesis screamed.

"What?" I shouted in shock. I felt a heavy pressure on my neck, and the blood rushing to my head. I let out a moan of agony as I tumbled to the ground, Genesis falling to the side of me. I hit the dirt road hard and fast, landing on my face. I gasped, trying to keep myself awake but the pressure on my neck from whatever had hit me was too much. I saw Genesis, out cold at my side, and then all went utterly dark.

**Chapter Two End**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Rescued?**

**??**; When I regained slight consciousness I found myself blinded by chrome plated objects and bright lights, and it was deathly cold - I could see my breath in front of me. I grasped the back of my neck and head in my hands. I had a migraine like you wouldn't believe and my vision was playing horrid tricks on me. A welt the size of a large BanoraWhite was now on the back of my head from being hit in the mountains who knows how long ago. I was so lost, I hadn't a clue where I was or if I was even alive.

White sheets over my body? White pillows under my throbbing head? A bed, was I lying in some sort of bedroom? I couldn't make out what much of anything was; I saw metal doors and walls all around me, horridly bright lights above me and a person. A young man about my age to be exact, sitting at a desk to my side silently, he was reading.

My buster, Genesis' backpack and a pile of new clothes were at his feet. My eyes started at his black boots, wandering up his dark leather over-coat, tracing his somewhat familiar outline to his hands.

"Loveless?" I moaned, looking at the name imprinted on the cover of the book.

"_**Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess. We seek it thus and take to the sky. Ripples form on the water's surface, the wandering soul knows no rest**_." He stated, reading an all too-familiar segment from the novel.

"Genesis, is that you?" I asked quietly, sitting up slowly.

"Loveless, Act I... I honestly don't understand how anyone can sit here and read this. The "Gift of the Goddess" please." He stated, "Your friend has a bizarre taste in literature."

I watched this enigma close the Loveless book, set it aside and stand up. I could see his face now, he was defined in the face like a noble, his silver pigmented hair was somewhat long for a man – to his shoulders – and his eyes were a deep green. His smile was a bit cold and unwelcoming, but he was smiling none-the-less. Silver hair, green eyes... it couldn't have been.

"S-Sephiroth," I shouted, startled at the realization of who he was "1st Class SOLDIER, Sephiroth!"

"Shh, keep it down." He said smirking, he pointed to something behind me and crossed his arms. I turned and looked at what he was showing me. Genesis was resting in another bed behind me, his leg was bandaged with wraps that were now blood soaked, and for some reason so was his head and he was out cold. I rubbed my temples and sighed, at least he was breathing, that was all I cared about. Wounds like nobs on the head and even gun shots he could recover from, I could even handle his never ending complaining about it all but death wasn't something I could handle.

My eyes trekked back over to Sephiroth – 1st Class SOLDIER Sephiroth! In the flesh! That's when I got even more confused than before.

"SOLDIER? Are we in Shinra?" I moaned, looking around me. Sephiroth pointed at the side of the bed, asking if he could sit down. I slowly, carefully, swung my legs over the end of the bed to make room and moaned in agony. Sephiroth just laughed as he perched himself beside me. I didn't get what was so funny but then again I wasn't in a place to judge someone who had probably saved my life.

"You were lucky, if it had taken my men any longer to find you, you'd both be smears on the side of Mt. Tamblin by now. What the heck were you doing out there? You _do_ realize that there's a war going on – right?" Sephiroth asked, his concern was genuine and he was worried, for some bizarre reason. I nodded, as much as my head would allow and pointed back to Genesis.

"He never did have a great sense of direction. My fault for letting him lead us." I said, smirking. Sephiroth smiled and looked back at my sleeping friend.

"His concussion is worse than yours, from loss of blood in both his leg and the back of his head - apparently he was hit with the sharp end of the spear that got you - and the trauma probably scared him into shock. But he'll be alright, his vital signs are healthy, blood pressure is a bit low but nothing to be concerned about, and he hasn't been out too long. He was actually awake when my men had found you two out there, passed out soon after and hasn't woken up since. You, though, we did get you concious for a good five minutes ealier but you've only been out a few hours." Sephiroth closed his eyes in thought, as I looked toward the clock on the wall. He was right, oddly enough, I was hit around twenty after midnight – it was only three. He was so calm, it made me feel content about the happenings that took place at Mt. Tamblin, my heart had stopped racing even.

"You made quick work of one of my best infantrymen, Hewley, he was going to be a 2nd." Sephiroth whispered, eyes still closed.

My head snapped over in his direction, my eyes wide in fear and my breathing stopped. I went to speak but he silenced me and pointed to my buster.

"That's not an easy weapon to wield, it's heavy and it's bulky – honestly I'd suggest something smaller like a rapier or even a souba. But the autopsy on my infantryman shows you can handle something like that without breaking a sweat. I'm impressed." Sephiroth explained. He stood up and walked over to my sword. I just watched him without a word.

He lifted my sword of the ground and brushed its surface like a woman's hair, the way he looked at it was almost envious.

"You've got potential, Hewley." He smirked jocularly at me and jammed my sword into the floor. The chrome cracked, it made the sound of a large gunshot, one oddly resembling the Wutai's snipers, and Genesis screamed. He shot up in cold sweat from panic, the sudden noise had startled him.

"Genesis, calm down, it's ok!" I snapped, but there was calmness in my voice that showed I wasn't angry but concerned. Sephiroth crossed his arms again and stood by my buster, not removing his eyes from the bloodstained blade. Genesis looked around the room, sweat pouring down his face and bare back like rainfall. I pushed myself off of the bed and headed toward him. He breathed out heavily and looked at me with tears in his eyes.

I sat down and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Everything's ok, Genesis. We're out of harm's way, don't worry." I whispered. He caught his breath and closed his eyes for a moment. Sephiroth was now standing at my side, arms crossed and his eyes fixated on Genesis. I hadn't even heard him come over to me; he was like a phantom hovering his way across the room with little effort in most anything.

"Where are we?" Genesis asked, his voice muffled by his hands. He was grasping his head – trying to block out the lights, the noise, or the images around him. Trying to keep himself calm, or from passing out. Or if he was just terrified, I didn't know why he was grabbing his head and shaking, but he wasn't doing so well.

"Shinra infirmary, you're in good hands here." Sephiroth stated, "You should get some more rest. The doctor's said you need it."

Genesis turned his head toward the new, deep voice that had spoken to him. His eyes widened in shock and joy, it seemed he was just as excited about seeing Sephiroth as I was. But I couldn't let him get too hyper right now; I grabbed his head and turned him away. Sephiroth caught on, and even though I wasn't done talking with him, he left without another word. He dimmed the lights and left the room, leaving us in the dark. Genesis looked at me with tired eyes.

"Angeal," he started. But I cut him off and stood up, ordering him to go back to bed. He began to argue but soon caught on to how tired he was and listened. He rubbed his temples and took a deep breath out of exhaustion. I let him be a moment as he collected his thoughts. And then I helped him lie back down and waited for a moment before I made any more sudden movements, making sure he was out cold before I even thought about moving again.

Genesis probably thought I had gone to sleep; I made no noise as I headed for the door. I wasn't done talking with Sephiroth, I still had questions and even sleep deprivation and a concussion wasn't going to stop me from getting answers.

I made my way to the door.

**Chapter Three End**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: A Chance Meeting**

**Shinra Electric Company**; "He's asleep then, yes?" Sephiroth asked as I made my way into the hall. I had picked up one of the SOLDIER uniforms lying beside my buster and suited myself up. I wanted answers, but I didn't think running out into the middle of a packed hallway in ripped up, muddy jeans and no shirt was appropriate. I had already dug a deep enough hole by killing that infantryman; I didn't need to cause more problems.

"Yes, he's out cold again…thank you for taking such good care of him and myself, sir." I stated.

Sephiroth smirked, "One, don't call me sir, it's kind of creepy. Secondly, there's no need to thank me, you're SOLDIER – you're my responsibility."

"Still, you saved…" I stopped speaking and repeated his statement in my head. "Did you say I was SOLDIER?"

"Of course, we – myself, the Director, the Turks and even the CEO, _Shinra_ that is_ -_ agree you both have potential to go far. And that was just from your application forms. We weren't even going to test you when you got here. We were to suit you up and put you to work; hints why your uniforms had been given to you so suddenly. But you proved you're more than worthy of SOLDIER only a few hours ago at Mt. Tamblin." Sephiroth said, lowering his voice. He shook his head in the direction of a few infantrymen standing in a lounge like area across the room.

I looked at my uniform and then at theirs. And then to Sephiroth, my head was just reeling from all the confusion and sudden questions he seemed to be avoiding giving me answers to. Well, straight forward answers at least.

"Mine's blue." I stated, pointing at the other SOLDIER trainees.

Sephiroth nodded, _"Theirs' _are blue, yours is purple_."_ He replied. "It's because you're a 2nd Class SOLDIER - they're merely infantrymen."

I blinked a few times and stepped backward toward the door. Actually I stumbled; my head started pounding from hearing those words of his. A 2nd Class SOLDIER and I hadn't even done anything yet. Was he crazy!?

"Wait, what? What about Genesis," I asked, "What's this got in it for him? He didn't do much to prove himself in Tamblin! He's in no shape to make up for lack of defense right now! He's screwed -"

Sephiroth gave me a light slap on the face to snap me from my horrid rant and laughed. He placed reassuring hands on my shoulder and smiled, "You've earned it. Genesis will start as an infantryman. He's actually in perfect shape to fight as soon as he's ready. You will be at my side at all times during a mission as my understudy and I'll make sure Genesis is on our team. If he's anything like you it'll take him no time at all to get to 2nd Class, I promise. Now the only concern I have is he wasn't armed."

"He left his rapier at home, the excitement got to him." I replied, leaning against the wall. I must've appeared to look relaxed again because Sephiroth had a bit of a smug grin creeping across his face from my sudden SOLDIER like pose. I admit I normally don't lean against walls with my arms crossed and my eyebrows narrowed, eyes gazing at the other SOLDIER infantrymen. But honestly I was just trying to keep myself upright and my eyes from straining themselves.

"I'll send for it in the morning." Sephiroth said, quite emotionlessly. I looked at him with a bit of question, he hadn't been this quiet. Even if I had only met him less than twenty minutes ago this was strange.

"Well, it seems as though you're not getting to bed any time too soon, Hew-" Sephiroth stopped, "Angeal… there's a lounge downstairs, get something to drink with me. I have a mission in a few hours and after sitting up watching you and reading that "Loveless" junk I could use something, my head is killing me."

I hesitated - just the thought of Sephiroth drinking was a bit of a shocker but I could understand. He was SOLDIER's top man, everyone always looked to him for answers and help, the stress could get unbearable. Even for a hero. But he was right, I wasn't going to head back to sleep, I couldn't. So I decided to join him.

That night we had about two bottles of a dark wine. We sat and talked all night about life and SOLDIER, and what our plans for the future were. Honestly Sephiroth wasn't as cold as most people had made him out to be in stories. True, he was the one every woman wanted and the one every man wanted to be but he was so laid back and the way he took life as it came to him was almost unnatural. I could tell he was going to take good care of Genesis and myself in SOLDIER.

By about seven we were tanked, I hadn't ever had alcohol before so I felt extremely weird. I was like a two year old after a sugar high, I felt half-stupid but relaxed and the pain had melted away with the hours. Somehow, both of us made it to the infirmary again, I crashed half-way on the bed and Sephiroth was out in the chair by the desk where he had been when I had awoken.

That night I vowed never to drink that heavily again, one it wasn't prideful, two I felt sick. That morning when I woke up at noon my head was killing me worse than before and I felt nauseous. And unbeknownst to me, Genesis and I had our very first training session that morning. Wonderful…

**Chapter Four End**

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